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Lo’s date with MILF Meri was Easter Sunday. By Lo’s account, both of them had a great time and were eager to make the magic happen again. But then, inexplicably, Meri ghosted Lo. No response to email, nothing.
“I think she might be having randy remorse,” said Lo one morning while we were pondering the odd disappearance.
“What the hell is ‘randy remorse’?”
“You know — she was all randy to have a lesbian encounter. She did it. It was hot. But she has a husband, three sons, a conventional, bougie, suburban, soccer-mom lifestyle to maintain. She can’t fuck that all up for a little labial action.”
“Don’t you think that that’s a tad narrow-minded?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I don’t mean her lack of follow-up. I mean your explanation.”
“What?”
“In this day and age, women aren’t as boxed in as you make it sound. I mean, a lot of couples are open to the wife playing around, especially with someone like you.”
“What does that mean, ‘someone like me’?”
“I just mean, younger, already in a relationship and therefore not clingy or a threat to the Stepford Wife, picture-perfect, wholesome family-Christmas-letter lifestyle.”