I truly am very sorry that you experienced all of that, but I think the culprit is not the porn so much as the lack of communication and connections. As you point out in one of your comments, the wrong done by your newly wed was the lie, not so much the porn. Porn itself is not an evil (assuming it’s ethically made, etc.), but how it is part of one’s life/a couple’s shared life.
And, for the record, in my relationship with HH, the roles are reversed. I’m the one on the bed with the phone out jillin’ it while he is either asleep or trying to sleep. I think that there are certain polls out there that show that women (or perhaps younger women) are approaching parity with men in their porn watching (or at least, are now feeling less oppressed to say so honestly).
Bottom line: communication & connection.