Interview with Sex Surrogate Joslyn Nerdhal

Lola Down
8 min readSep 19, 2023
Joslyn Nerdhal — Sexologist

[You can read the full interview with all photos at mysexlifewithlola.com]

LOLA — Hi Joslyn, it’s an honor to interview you for our blog! To be honest, I had never heard of a sex surrogate or even programs to assist people living with disabilities to have sex until one of the fans of the blog wrote to me. He told us about his condition — he had been injured in an accident that left him paralyzed from the chest down. His accident was over two decades ago and he had to suffer terribly, especially when female aid workers came over to assist him with all sorts of things — showering, getting dressed, etc. — and they’d see him naked, but never the other way around. He found many of them quite attractive. And then one day, a home health aid who had been with him for many years made advances that were probably grossly inappropriate, but were also most welcome by him. After that, he did more research on it and discovered the interview you did with Vice and your work with Spencer Williams. He sent the interview to me. I was blown away! The fact that I hadn’t been aware of this issue — and I consider myself pretty well-versed in all things sex — shows how invisible this is for to the general public. The fact that his home health aid had to resort to something she could get fired for but which he desperately wanted and needed also shows how our system is broken and in need of repair. Will you tell us a bit of how you got into this field and what you do?

J.N. — Thank you Lola, I appreciate the opportunity to discuss this very important topic with you. I get asked about how I got into this field of sexuality a lot, even as a Certified Sex Coach and Clinical Sexologist in my private coaching practice people ask me all the time “How did you get into this?!” LOL!

I started out as a typical sex worker years ago, doing erotic massage and adult entertainment to pay the bills. Eventually I got engaged to be married and tried to transition out of the sex work industry for the sake of my relationship; it was during this time I started my private sex coaching practice, and it was also when I found Sensual Solutions — the agency for folks with physical disabilities — and I met with Trish St. John (owner/founder) to see if working together would be a good fit. We had a meeting that was supposed to be 30 mins…3 hours later we

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