Let the Presents Begin!

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As we approached Christmas, I began shopping for a special diamond ring to buy Lo — it had to be nice enough to be appreciated as a serious gift, but not a giant rock that said “ENGAGED” in all the ways that De Beers wants women to believe a certain size (and only that size or larger) can convey. A tall order, that one.

As a warm-up present (actually, a Chanukah present), I got Lo and me tickets to go see The Nutcracker — a seasonal favorite. It was the first time that she and I went to it together and so it was also the first time that I got to see Lo gawk and shift uncomfortably as she marveled at the large crotches barely concealed by the tights of the men (“Do you think that’s him?” she asked, amazed) and the grace and seductive allure of the women. Of course I had seen this ballet (and many others) before, but somehow everything I do with Lola becomes eroticized in ways that I had never thought of before. Especially after our time seeing the parody of this ballet — the Slutcracker — this production took on all new sexually dramatic meaning for us both. Here we see the letch in the guise of a paternalistic and harmless fairy godfather — Uncle Drosselmeyer — taking the innocent girl — Clara — on a round-the-world voyeuristic tour of seductive and sexy dances through which she gains experience and fetishizes over a nutcracker. Is the subtext so difficult to discern? Though I may be old and dross to Lo, believe me, it is she who has been my guide from innocence to experience.

A second present (there are eight days of Chanukah, mind you, but I won’t go into each and every gift — only the hot ones) I gave Lo what has become my “usual” gift — a prepaid spa package: hair, manicure, pedicure, facial, and most importantly, a full body massage. You see, Lo and I do a lot of hosting and from the beginning of autumn (when I have my big birthday party), through Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Christmas, and the New Year. In that time, we put on at least five big parties for friends and family. This means that Lo does enough cooking to feed approximately 100 people in the period of three months. By mid-December she needs some well-deserved rejuvenation. I’m only too happy to see her off to the spa and this year I did my research, perusing a popular user-review site. Honestly, I was only searching for the spa with the most stars and best reviews in our neighborhood. Coincidentally, the result that fit the bill had a number of reviewers who said, “They insist you’re naked, so shy people might want to stay away” and “I went in and the woman gave me a robe and told me to ‘take off all your clothes.’ When I asked if I should leave on my panties, she said, ‘No.’ When I asked if I could leave on my panties, she again said, ‘No.’” I thought to myself, “Yes, this is for Lo.”

I got her the gift certificate and, being no dummy, Lo of course looked up the reviews of the salon herself. “Is this for me or for you?” she asked after seeing the same write-ups I did. I blushed a little and said, “A little from column A and a little from column B.” She went to the spa and I met her after. She looked gorgeous and spring like on that cold, grey winter day, with a big smile on her face. “You liked?”

“I liked.”

She told me it wasn’t nearly as good as the personal masseuse I had procured for her a while ago — the hot guy who made house calls — but seriously, eight days of presents, plus Christmas, my wallet was getting real thin right quick! — and he didn’t come cheap.

[From the blog: mysexlifewithlola.com]

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Just your average nymphomaniac next door. I love fan mail: downloladown@gmail.com

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