Christmas was fast approaching. You’d think that Judah Maccabee and Jesus would have coordinated better for all the inter-faith couples out there, allowing us some time between the eight days of Chanukah and the twelve days of Christmas-crazed shopping, but no! They’re practically back-to-back!
Per Lo’s insistence, we trudged out to our local forest (read: Home Depot) to cut down a perfectly healthy evergreen (read: buy a readymade Christmas tree) and transplanted it into our living room. When we arrived, Lo quickly spotted the conifer of preference and solicited a strapping young man to wrap it up and tie it on the roof of our little car. She gazed (there is such a thing as “the female gaze” you know) longingly as he, in his rolled up flannel sleeves, flexed his large muscles with the effort. Just as we were about to leave (and she about to tip him for his effort) she noticed a sign posted on the ground that said, “Kissing Balls $24.98.” Lo looked at the sign and then looked at the young fellow as she reached out to pass him a fiver and said, “Oooh, that sounds like fun!” She winked at him and turned tail to hop in the car.
“Lo, I can’t take you anywhere,” I said.
“What, Daddy?” she asked, feigning innocence. “It’s all in the holiday spirit — the spirit of giving.”
“The spirit of giving?”
“Yes, Daddy, the spirit of giving head.”
I drove off the premises before she could cause any more mischief.
[From the blog: mysexlifewithlola.com]