“Boy am I glad to see you smile finally.”
“Yeah. You’ve been a total pain in the ass.”
“Oh, Daddio, really?”
“You know why, don’t you?”
“Cause you were hangry?”
“No, cause I want a good spanking.”
“Oh, you’ll get one, Lo, believe me. A well-deserved thrashing.”
She wiggled in her seat. “Oh, Daddy, don’t get me riled up just yet.”
Our food came and I devoured mine, as usual. Lo, on the other hand, despite her appetite, turned her nose up at the plate she was given.
“What’s wrong?” I inquired.
“Can’t you see?”
She then went into a lengthy tirade about how over-cooked the pasta was, how it clearly wasn’t scratch cooking, how the sauce must have been from a jar and on and on. None of what she had to say took anything away from my enjoyment of my food, but it did upset me to think that I was footing the bill for a meal that she clearly was not enjoying. She picked at her food, chewed a couple of bites and then allowed the waiter to take away the rest.
To my great surprise she picked up the tab.
“I know,” she said, “you’d gladly pay. But you shouldn’t have to pay for that.”
I allowed her, just to teach her princess-and-the-pea standards a little lesson in economics.
We headed home where, outside the apartment building we ran into our upstairs neighbors — two gossipy girls. They started up a conversation about another woman who had recently moved in on the third floor. “Do you hear her singing?” asked one.
“Every day when she comes home she’s singing her way in the door,” remarked the other.
“And in the morning too!” said the first.
We indulged their little chatty-Kathy talk for a while and then wished them a pleasant evening.
As we walked in the door I said to Lo, “I can just imagine what they say about us!”
“I know,” she agreed.
“That isn’t singing,” I joked.
In the bedroom I removed Lo’s pants and pulled out my belt for her comeuppance. She squirmed and squealed and after about five or six good smacks, followed by some very audible shrieks, intended for the two girls upstairs (or so I thought), she was ready for some loving. I held her tightly and, before either of us knew it, we were asleep.