Nymphomania — P.S.A.

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Now, some may say that I am too free and loose with my use of “nymphomaniac” (no pun intended). However, I justify my use of this oft misapplied term by turning to the touchstone on the subject, the classic Albert Ellis & Edward Sagarin text, Nymphomania: A Study of the Oversexed Woman, from 1964. There the authors lay out the elements of the nymphomaniac as follows:

· Lack of Control. Characterized by urges and desires that must be met and fulfilled quickly, despite the consequences. This uncontrollable urge is compared by the authors to the alcoholic’s need to consume alcohol or to overeater’s need to consume food.

· Continuous Need. The usage of the term “fulfilled” in the above description of “Lack of Control” was not quite apt, for the nymphomaniac’s need is unquenchable. As the text says, “Most nymphomaniacs achieve orgasm and they may have several during an evening; but they are still unsatisfied.”

· Compulsivity. This characteristic is defined by a drive for actions which one seeks in vain to stop. Try as she may, the nymphomaniac cannot stop thinking about, obsessing over, and fixating on sex. This often leads to habitual masturbation and relentless sexual encounters as well as a very active fantasy life.

· Self-Contempt. As the authors say, “Nymphomania has one characteristic that frequently does not accompany other compulsive desires. It is generally looked upon by society — which means by the nymphomaniac as well as by those around her — as degrading. In this respect nymphomania finds itself in that group of deviant activities which are condemned in our culture, not because they are harmful to the community, but because they are sexual.” This element is only applicable to women, not to the male counterpart of the nymphomaniac, called by the authors, Don Juanism. For the latter society does not generally frown upon the male’s sexual conquests and exploits except in the context of marriage or monogamous relationships, but rather touts them as emblems of a man’s virility. This self-contempt of the nymphomaniac, by contrast, often results in her seeking out punishment for her “bad” behavior and feeling the need be degraded in the sexual encounter itself. Hence, many nymphomaniacs close erotic connection with masochism.

From this set of characteristics, the authors cite a previous study, Ellis’ 1960 The Art and Science of Love to sum up that true nymphomania “exists when a woman has intense desire which is not relieved by intercourse or orgasm and which may drive her to near-madness.”

I mention all this to point out that my Lola displays all the tell-tale characteristics of clinical nymphomania.

[Excerpt from the story, “Nymphomania Defined,” from the blog: mysexlifewithlola.com]

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Just your average nymphomaniac next door. I love fan mail: downloladown@gmail.com

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