The Ethical Nympho
Lo immediately jumped into the conversation, talking about “good” porn and “bad” porn, “healthy” porn and “unhealthy” porn. She said, “I’m not gonna lie, I watch porn.” I think just that opening remark took Greg aback. We, as a society, are on the cusp of recognizing and accepting that women watch porn. But to people of my generation (both men and women), the revelation is still startling. Lo, however, has no compunction about revealing her personal interests. She went on to discuss the difference between good and healthy porn and its opposite. Basically her thesis was: Consensually made porn is ok; other porn, where the consensual aspect of the relationship or the power dynamic is questionable, is not ok.
Now, as a general principle, this is clear enough. But, as the conversation with Greg elucidated, it’s not always so easy to put into practice. Even if it looks like the sex is consensual, you never know what happens when the camera is off or exactly what the relationship is between the parties involved. Some porn obviously is exploitative: the porn showing women from third-world countries, former Soviet Block countries, and your typical high-production porn from the U.S. porn industry. These almost always involve a power differential that, even if the women in them “freely” consented to the filming and were compensated monetarily, it probably was not something they genuinely enjoyed or did for its own sake. Lo, as a rule, she said, usually sticks to “homemade” porn where the participants are boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife, or, as in our case, man and nymphomaniac. In these porn flicks you usually can get a sense of the relationship between the parties from the dialogue. And, equally important for Lo’s aesthetic enjoyment of the video, the woman’s orgasms are much more likely to be real. But still, you can’t be 100% sure that this is not just an act. This gray area gets even more difficult to adjudicate the further into kink you delve, Lo said. “I mean, when you want to watch sadomasochism, or gangbangs, or women being verbally degraded. Some women, myself included, may really enjoy that sort of stuff and be glad to be making such a video, but you have to be really careful. I think that porno makers are becoming more aware of the politics and preferences of their audience. I mean, there’s a bondage/sadomasochistic porn channel I’ve recently found that, on the surface, is incredibly violent — women tied up and tormented, degrading language hurled at them — but after the session the women are interviewed and they talk about how much they enjoyed it and what they enjoyed and why. Again, one can’t be 100% certain that even that isn’t staged or coerced, but it seems genuine to me. Similarly, I’ve found another porn station on the internet that shows women being subordinated and then fucked by a host of men. But after it’s over, the smiling, cum-covered women tell the camera why they loved it so much.”
“Really?!” was Greg’s only flabbergasted response he could muster after a prolonged pause. He may have well have dropped his jaw and let his eyes bulge out of their sockets, he seemed so intrigued and enchanted by this candid revelation of Lo’s. Well, needless to say, that was a conversation stopper. Even if Greg had wanted to continue the discussion, his mind was so overwhelmed with watching Lo’s lips as she said words like “porn,” “fucked,” “cum-covered,” that it was as if someone had shocked him with a stun-gun.
“Yes,” said Lo, “but lately I’ve mostly been turning to blogs and literotica for my self-pleasuring sessions.”
“Blogs?” asked Greg, “What blogs?”
“Oh, you know, this and that. Mostly stuff that I think is really authentic. I mean, stuff that is truly homemade about couples or what-have-you.”
Lo then got up and said, “Well boys, I’m feeling a little randy now, so I’m gonna take a long, hot shower and then, maybe do some reading.” She looked at me long and hard as she let these words drip slowly from her lips and she added, “I hope you’ll come to bed soon,” and she blew me a kiss as she walked away, completely self-satisfied that she had managed to burnish an indelible thought in a man’s mind of her watching porn.
[Excerpt from the story, “Nocturnal Commissions, Sins of Omission, and the Missionary Position,” from the blog: mysexlifewithlola.com]
