Lo is naked in bed. “Come, Daddy. Fuck me.”
“No, I’m writing.”
“Oh, please!!!!”
“Later. Not now.”
“Then be a doll and fetch me a cucumber.”
I get her the vegetable from the kitchen and bring it to her in the bedroom.
“Now give me a condom.”
“Why?”
“You know what sort of stuff they put on this thing? Insecticides, wax, who knows what! Put a condom over any phallic-shaped object and you’re good to go.”
“Thanks for the free advice,” I say as I pull a condom out from my nightstand drawer.
“You’re welcome.”
I begin to leave the room.
“You sure you don’t want to get in on this?” she asks as she spreads her legs and puts the cucumber in her hole.”
“I’ll pass on the salad. I haven’t even had breakfast yet.”
“Well, you’re missing out. The dressing is homemade.”
I leave the room and return to my computer where I try to continue writing. My thoughts are disturbed by the moans, groans, and then screams and sighs that I hear my little nymphet producing like a primitive mating call, signaling to all within earshot that she is eager for cock, or…